Prayer

I had a good weekend. Saturday, Dale took me out to Sam's. He didn't allow me to walk too much because I was still in pain. I won't complain, though. Right now I'll take what I can get.

On our way to Sam's, we drove by two restaurants that we tried to go to on Rebekah's due date.

We had our hearts set on one restaurant, to start a tradition of eating there on her due date, but it was closed for lunch. Our second restaurant choice was also closed. We were very disappointed.

As we passed those two restaurants on the way to Sam's, Dale unexpectedly yelled "phooey to you" to those restaurants. Hmmm...that sounded good, so I also said "phooey." By now my younger kids are giggling in the backseat and my teenager is rolling her eyes and slouching down . I didn't care;it felt good to get that out.

Later that night I was thinking about all that had happened these past two weeks. Out of nowhere I whispered "phooey." That felt good. I kept going..."phooey on you death...phooey on you enemy...phooey on you lies...phooey on you suffering...phooey, phooey, phooey!!" By now people may think I have lost it, but it felt better to express that.

What happened to us stinks! There is no getting around that. But I rest in the knowledge that our Heavenly Father allowed all this to go through His fingertips. This is not the easiest thing to say, because I grieve. But I am steady in the belief that He sees the big picture. He will redeem our pain. I don't know when, but I know I can trust Him.

I am so encouraged by all the comments on here and facebook... the emails, the letters, the phone calls. I have reread most everything twice, if not three times. Most people have asked me what they can pray for me. The old me would say nothing, we are doing okay. The new broken me will ask that you pray that my image of Heaven will be so overwhelming, so beautiful, that I will rest in my heart the thought of my little Rebekah being there and not here in my arms. I long to have a more better understanding (of what God will allow) of where my baby girl is now.

I am thankful for those standing in the gap and praying for my family. It means the world to me to hear those words. I have been waking up every morning and trying to remember those who have said they are praying. I want to thank God for them and pray for them. A blog I read of a mom who also lost a little girl made a Blessing Ring for all the cards and letters she received. I plan to make that tonight, so I can go through those cards and lift each person up in prayer. I am so grateful for family and friends and written words.

Now, my God, may your eyes be open and your ears attentive to the prayers offered in this place." 2 Chronicles 6:40