she whispers in my hair as she pulls me into a warm embrace...
And I stood there, silent...
Here, I was...there with others to bless her and tell her goodbye...
Not knowing if I will see her family again this side of Heaven.
And she whispers this to me...
and instead of her breath, I felt God's...
And I carried that breath into my heart until this morning...
Where it flowed in dampness on my pillow.
Tears for friends that were instantly knitted in my heart and will now take a piece of my heart with them to the other side of the world.
Tears because her words, His words, were echoing in my mind...
"You are blessed."
I was reminded of this journal started at the beginning of the year to write down those blessings...
Along with a little thought that burrowed its way into my heart...
' that He truly doesn't want me to be happy.'
And that's the thing about burying...you soon forget it is there...but it is...
And those three words whispered to me last night, reminded me of that thought that had been buried in my heart and taken seed...
And it broke my heart...wide open.
And I cried out to Him.
And praised Him and thanked Him.
And told Him that even though I knew in my head, my heart had forgotten that He loved me.
Until He used her to whisper the Truth into my heart.
So, today, I am pulling out my journal again.
To write down my blessings.
To pull up that seed of ingratitude.
To remind myself that, yes, "I am blessed."
"I realized that praising God in the best of times is nothing compared to praising him in the worst of times. To find gratitude for God in times of personal disappointment, or even hopelessness, is a way of saying, 'I trust you no matter what it looks like down here.' In any language,that spells faith, and faith is what moves the heart of God."
Joanna Weaver
Closer Than Your Skin
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10 joyful people left comments:
Beautiful, beautiful, BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!
I tried to do that this year as well...and often found myself bogged down and not able to as I wanted. I'm disappointed in myself, but you reminded me that there's nothing stopping me from starting again.
Blessed and highly favored...hard to remember sometimes, but isn't it a blessing that we don't have to always remember it or feel it for it to be true?
xoxoxo
(((((hugs))))) beautiful words.....
How precious! I love the way God speaks to our hearts. The right words just when we need them.
So very beautiful!!! You certainly have a gift! Thank you for sharing.
Karen, I'm so glad you are encouraged again. My heart breaks for you when you are sad. I pray you are enjoying your Christmas with your family and your friend arrives safely.
Incredibly beautiful...
I am always amazed at how easily a "thankfulness journal" gets pushed away. In the short time that I have been keeping up with my blessings I have to realize that Satan relentlessly works at this area in my life, and that is because it works. In fact sometimes I think that I intentionally ignore because I know that when i start to count then I can no longer wallow in whatever it is that I am drowning myself in... mmm I feel a post being created right now on this topic!
Thanks for sharing and encouraging honesty:-)
I realize, too, that every time my heart breaks more, then more of what He wants me to be, by His own strength, comes out.....if my flesh lets it. It's the age-old struggle between what God wants me to be and what I really am.
And a by-product of being moms together on the journey of grief is that I think our hearts feel each other's pain. I'm so glad we don't have to bear our burdens alone. I think the enemy wants us to be tricked into bearing them alone, though. I'm glad you shared this post, because it does bring glory to God.
My prayers are surrounding you tightly with an impenetrable wall of strength. I do pray that God would touch you special today, dear friend.
Love you.
Love this post. YOU ARE BLESSED! that is the truth and God wants us to know and hear the the truth. What a wonderful way for the Lord to speak to you and what a wonderful gift that you were open to hear Him.
Have a blessed day. I think of you often friend and pray you are doing well.
Susan
Beautiful words Karen. I just want to send you some love and hugs.
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