Random

This is how I have been feeling lately....random.

All.

over.

the.

page.

This weekend we made our annual pictures of the kids with their Hallmark ornaments. I did not want to buy the ornaments this year, because I had already picked out the ornament I wanted to get for Rebekah back in September. But I knew the kids look forward to this every year, so I obliged. It was so hard. But everything having to do with traditions have been so hard thus far.

I look at these pictures of these little hands holding their ornaments and wonder how we would have done Rebekah's picture this year. Would we have sit her up? Would we have let one of her siblings hold her?

It has been 49 days since we said "hello" and then "goodbye" to our sweet baby girl. I have been a little down lately. Maybe it is because of all the holidays coming up. I find myself thinking in terms of Rebekah time. She would have been over a month today. Would she be sleeping through the night now? Would she be lifting up her head?

I was thinking about Baby Dedications at church yesterday and it broke my heart. Dale had to remind me the reason why we do Baby Dedications and that precious Rebekah is in Heaven with the One we would have been dedicating her to. I'm glad Dale is by my side helping me along.

I know this is so random, but it reflects my thoughts and my feelings today.

"See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hand." Isaiah 49:16