Today my little girl, "S," celebrated her ninth birthday with a party with her friends. It was so much fun to have all the little girls in the house giggling and playing. Everything went well except the pinata that fell every. single. time. a. girl. hit. it. Ugg! That was so frustrating, but the girls didn't seem to mind. They just kept giggling and jumping around trying to keep warm.
(The ornaments they made during the craft time of the party).
We decided to do an American Girl Party because "S" received a doll as a gift this year with a combination of her grandparents' and aunt's birthday money. Although my oldest girl, "T," received one when she was eight, it was only after we made an agreement that she would save for half and we would pitch in the other half. That way we knew she would be more likely to want to take care of it (which she did).
Fast forward 5 years and we were not thinking about buying another American Girl Doll for "S." But while I was flipping through their catalog , I was surprised to see their newest doll's name. Yes, it was Rebecca. Even though it was not spelled like our Rebekah, my heart still melted. When we gave it to "S" she smiled and said it would remind her of her baby sister.
I was reading another mom's blog of how at some point this mom's perspective started to shift over the loss of her child. I don't know if I am there yet, but I have found myself thinking more on Heaven than what I am missing here on earth. That blog brought up a point and I have thought about that a lot concerning my Rebekah. The most I may have had with her here on earth is 60-70 years. But I will have 60-70 quadrillion years plus eternity with her in Heaven. That makes me happy. Very, very happy:)...
Now, granted this is how I feel today. Tomorrow I may be in the dip of this roller coaster of emotions. However, thinking on "whatsoever things are true, " helps me to get up each morning and face the day without our baby daughter. And knowing that Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever gives me a peace in my heart that calms the towering waves of the storms. Jesus was the same Jesus when I was wheeled into that hospital with a baby in my womb and He was the same Jesus when I was wheeled out of the hospital with empty arms. This truth has pulled me out of those deep, deep dips in the valley.
"Finally, brethern, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, if there be any praise, think on these things." Phillipians 4:8
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2 joyful people left comments:
This post gave me peace in my heart too.
I smile when I think of seeing Janie in Heaven!
I think the perspective of thinking about the time we will spend with our babies in Heaven is a very mature and very good perspective. Thank you for posting that!
Although my family is 5 1/2 years into our walk through grief, I'm learning new perspectives every day.
Thanks for this great post!
Glad your daughter had a fun birthday despite the unco-operative pinata. I laughed at that because I remember a friend whose daughter and friends cried at the thought of hitting the horse pinata with a stick. They ended up gently emptying it of candy and hugging it!!!! Not how my boys view pinatas at all.... Nice perspective on eternity versus life now withour babies. I read Kimberly Hahn's chapter on miscarriage and stillbirth over again in her book on God's plan for marriage; she says that every Christian parent's goal is to get their children to heaven. Ours are there already. Small comforts. Small comforts. I'm still praying for the resignation to accept that I don't get my way and have George here in my arms. Big picture. Big picture. Thought of you loads lately but haven't had much online time. xo
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