Guidepost

At the beginning of the year I picked the word Abide as my theme for the year.  This word has permeated and challenged me in so many aspects of my life...in ways that I never expected.  Abiding  is a verb which means action and to me,  means that even though I am resting in Him, I have to work to make sure I am willing and doing just that. That seems so contradictory of that word, but this is how I am wrapping my mind around it.


This week has one of those weeks when the importance of abiding in Him has been clearly demonstrated.  It has been a very busy week and I struggled with not feeling well (kidney infection).  It has also been a milestone with Rebekah's anniversary.  I have continued to do my Bible Studies and helping my children with their Scripture memorization, but I have not had spent the last few mornings reading and meditating and resting in His Word.  I have been in His Word, but for me, there is a difference in reading snippets to actually spending time with it in the morning.


So, as you can guess, I have been spiritually, emotionally and physically weary this week. I have felt the darts of the enemy that have nicked my skin. I have been struggling with moving forward in my grief, but listening to the lies that if I do, Rebekah will be forgotten. That by moving forward, I will show that she really didn't matter.  That I am abandoning her. All those are lies, but when you are weak, you begin to entertain those thoughts.


So this morning I made an effort to have my morning quiet time. These are the verses I read:

He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High

shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

He shall cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you shall take refuge;

His truth shall be your shield and buckler.

You shall not be afraid of the terror by night,

Nor of the arrow that flies by day,

Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness,

Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday...

Because you have made the LORD, who is my refuge,

Even the Most High, your dwelling place,

 No evil shall befall you...

Psalm 91

What a drink of cool water for my weary soul! Now I am once again reminded why it is important to spend time in His Word at the beginning of my day. The subtitle for Psalm 91 in my Bible is : Safety of Abiding in the Presence of God.  When I don't consciously make an effort to abide in Him, my perception is clouded with my grief and I start having an earthly mindset instead of a heavenly mindset. I admit this is a discipline for me. But when I do seek Him in the morning, I feel so renewed and wonder why--oh,why--do I continue to think I can do this on my own strength.

This is a long post, but I wrote this mainly for me as a reminder...a guidepost pointing me toward the right direction in my grief journey. I thank the Lord for His patience. And I am so grateful that I have Him to rest my weary head and my tender heart.